The Brighton Dad blog

Please note that this blog entry (as well as previous entries) is based on our experience of NHS services at the Royal Sussex, not private healthcare.

If the care and service in the delivery suites at the Royal Sussex County Hospital was beyond professional – my wife's experience of the maternity ward on the 12th floor was disappointingly average.

That's not to say it was unprofessional or particularly poor. Far from it. But following such an overwhelmingly positive experience on the 13th floor, the care and attention on the ward below was glaringly functional.

First off, the temperature, for obvious reasons, is kept incredibly hot. So much so that my wife knew instantly that she would not be able to sleep. This was immediately stressful following her labour, delivery and aftercare. Moreover, the maternity ward seems to be full of four-bed rooms, meaning that if your own newborn doesn't wake you up, there is a strong chance someone else's will.

In my wife's case, both the temperature combined with three noisy neighbours (not their fault, of course) made for a sleepless night. This was exacerbated by her struggles to breastfeed and the general insecurities that come with being a new mum. By the time I arrived back at the hospital in the morning, my wife was exhausted and emotional.

With that in mind, we wanted to get her home as soon as possible. However, the team on the 12th floor would not allow us to leave unless my wife could demonstrate her ability to breastfeed. I'm not sure how crucial this is, given the fact that babies can be fed formula if breastfeeding fails; but I'll give the NHS the benefit of the doubt here – I guess it is sensible to see if a woman can breastfeed and offer her tips and advice if this is failing.

The problem is that my wife was so tired and it was still so hot in the room, that she was becoming more and more agitated and less and less likely to be able to breastfeed properly. It felt like we were trapped there unless my wife could 'perform'.

Every time we asked to leave, we were told my wife would need to be checked on her breastfeeding skills. We would wait 45mins and no-one would come to check (clearly, the nurses are very hard-working and I do not doubt they would be much more attentive given the right resources) – during which time my wife would have fed the baby, so by the time someone arrived the baby wasn't interested and the whole process would start again.

I arrived at 9am to take my wife home, and we eventually left at about 3-4pm. We were both tired and stressed by the situation but I guess we felt as though the team had our baby's best interests at heart. The staff were always polite and kind and did offer helpful tips – it was just that my wife was too exhausted to really care. Also, my wife was fed well and there was always water on offer and the level of care was decent.

Due to the delays, I long overstayed the visiting hours and the staff, to their credit, did not give me any hassle. In typically masculine (and reductive) fashion, I may well have told them where to go if they had; but luckily the situation didn't arise. There was one wobble when I had to nip down to the car to put more money in the meter and asked prior to leaving if I would get back in – I was told it would be fine. But when I got back up the tower, a different nurse told me I couldn't enter as it wasn't visiting hours– she backed down when I said I was taking my baby home (at that point this was by no means guaranteed, but there was no way I wasn't getting back to my wife).

Nothing that happened on the maternity ward was enough to take the shine off our whole experience. It's just that if you are staying overnight on the maternity ward, expect just that – a typical NHS ward experience. Compared to the sterling efforts of the midwives one floor up, this seems more of a disappointment than it should.

Finally: Dads, the same parking issues apply when you are picking your child up as when you are taking your wife to give birth. I guess the four-hour parking meters on the streets running south from Eastern Road are even more handy if you are guaranteed a swift exit. If not, you may well have to put more money in the meter or move your car. As always, if there are spaces in the hospital car park, go for it. Park as close as you can, as the car-seat with baby can get heavy after a while. If you have a car-seat that fits onto the pram, then put the baby in the seat, attach it to the pram and wheel the whole lot from the ward to the car – I forgot to do this and was knackered by the time I got the car-seat back to our vehicle on Eaton Place.

The same issue about people smoking at the foot of the tower at the car park exit hold true. You will be carrying your newborn child past people smoking where they shouldn't and it is disgusting, inconsiderate and offensive. There is little point asking them to stop – there are usually five or six smokers and they are already smoking in an area with prominent “No Smoking” signs on display. Moreover, who knows what health- or family-related issues these smokers are trying to deal with? Rather than challenge them, it seems sensible to pressure the Royal Sussex to actually enforce their No Smoking policy and/or provide somewhere else for smokers to gather.

I might blog a bit more on this topic. Not necessarily smoking per se, but that and the many other moments of inconsideration that you battle on a daily basis when you have a baby – (NB, this blog has now been written).