Here's a quick summary of what you can expect based on my experience with my wife at the Royal Sussex four weeks ago.The quick solution to the parking problem is to do a recce long beforehand. Drive around the hospital to get your bearings and check out the roads nearby – there are plenty of spaces with 4-hour parking meters within easy walking distance on Eaton Place, Chesham Street, Sudeley Place and other roads heading south from Eastern Road. You'll be aiming for the 12th and 13th floor of the Thomas Kemp tower (where the delivery rooms and maternity wards are), so I found it best to park on Eaton Place whenever visiting the hospital. It means you can walk straight across Eastern Road and up Bristol Gate, then take a left into the hospital. If you cut across A&E, up the stairs on the right and continue up the ramp where cars go to park, you'll be able to access the tower lifts immediately. I found this much quicker than going into the main hospital entrance on Eastern Road and navigating all the various corridors and lifts of the hospital buildings themselves. (If you remember, this is not the case for the scan department, where you'll want to be closer to the main entrance.)
One gripe here is that, despite lots of 'No Smoking' signs at the bottom of the tower, there are always handfuls of people smoking cigarettes. I find it disgusting that people smoke in the exact areas people will be passing through with their newborn babies – and awful that the hospital allows them to do so.
On the day in question, I have to confess that my wife and I were dropped off by my mother-in-law, who stayed long enough to confirm that my wife was definitely in labour and not going anywhere, before driving back home and leaving us to it. I do recommend this option as it means you don't have to worry about parking at all until after the birth (you can get a bus or taxi home from hospital after the delivery, to get your car).
So, to the birthing experience. My wife had painless contractions on the Saturday night. By 3am on Sunday morning they had become uncomfortable. I was reluctant to ring in at that time, (being all blokey I was worried about what to say) so my wife rang in – we weren't yet ready to come in, though staff on the phone were patient, kind and helpful. We went for a walk along the seafront, had a snack and then rang in again as the contractions were slightly more uncomfortable – still not time. We had a roast dinner, and contractions became more powerful, though still not particularly regular (sometimes there were three in 10 minutes, other times three in 20 minutes). By 5pm, we'd had enough and went to the hospital.
The midwife we encountered on the 13th floor seemed mildly irritated that we hadn't rung in, but quickly found us a room to wait for someone to examine us. After about 50 minutes, a midwife came in to examine my wife, asking plenty of questions about contractions and our recent experience. After the exam, the midwife said: “Well, you're not going anywhere”. My wife was 4-5cms dliated.
We were looked after from 6pm-8pm by Laura, an exceptionally brilliant professional, who explained everything that she was doing throughout the earlier stages of my wife's labour. From 8pm, Laura began preparing for the shift change that would see us looked after by Kylie, a fantastic midwife who stayed with us from 8pm until our baby was born and during the immediate after-care. Both midwives were incredible and an asset to the Royal Sussex and the NHS.
The room my wife was initially examined in turned out to be the same room we would have our baby in (unless the birthing pool was available – see below). It had a fantastic view of the West pier, seafront, the Downs and beyond. We were allowed to move furniture around (within reason), set-up our battery-powered speakers and iPod, and place all the bags we needed.My wife was monitored in between and during contractions and Laura happily looked at the birth plan we presented her with. My wife was offered a bath, which she took. She had also told Laura that she would like the birthing pool if it was available. There is only one pool at the RS – luckily it became free at about 9pm and my wife was delighted. We moved into the pool room and set-up our iPod and speakers there – at which point Kylie took over and we thanked Laura.
My wife immediately felt at home in the pool. The water soothed the pain of her contractions a little and generally helped to relax her. For me, the pool room was a bit more relaxing, though leaning over the pool itself was a little difficult on the back (I say this fully aware of the more severe discomfort experienced by my wife).
My wife's contractions became steadily more powerful and painful. She requested gas and air, which helped hugely initially but became less soothing as time wore on. Naturally, when the midwife was out of the room, I had a go on the gas and air and can report that it was indeed a little like being drunk, but wears off very quickly (I had two 'tokes'). The rest is a bit of a blur.
The main thing I put into practice from what I learnt at the NCT lessons, were positions to help soothe my wife, along with rubs and strokes. My wife really appreciated this, along with vocal encouragement and quiet echoes of what the midwife was telling her. Kylie was fantastic at helping my wife overcome a particularly strong contraction or one that brought along a new type of pain that scared her. I have to say, I failed to spot the 'transition stage', though later asked the midwife and she told me exactly when it happened: when my wife was asked about more pain relief.
At one point, my wife got out of the pool (I forget why) and the contractions she experienced out of the water were much stronger and more painful than those under the water. Once back in the pool, Kylie told my wife that if she wanted the next stage of pain relief (pethidine or an epidural), she would have to come back out of the water and stay out – this was indeed the 'transition stage'. The fact that she would have to get out of the water was enough to put my wife off so much that she vowed she wasn't ever coming out of the pool again until it was over.Throughout the painful contractions, midwife Kylie was supportive, sensitive and empowering, offering precisely the right words and wisdom that helped my wife summon the strength to deliver the baby herself.
At 11.52pm, our daughter Eve was born in the pool and immediately placed onto my wife for skin-to-skin contact for about 10 minutes. I was permitted to cut the cord and then I was given the baby while my wife received some immediate aftercare outside of the pool.
This aftercare continued back in the original delivery room we had been allocated and, if I have one gripe, it is that I was not initially told how long this would take. I was asked to wait outside by my wife. At one point, an orange light that looked like an emergency light came on and another midwife rushed into the room. Naturally, I was terrified and suffered a traumatic 10 minutes until the guy came out, saw my expression, and assured me everything was fine.
That said, I cannot fault the professionals on the 13th floor at the Royal Sussex. My wife had a relatively easy labour (in comparison to many women), and while I attribute much of this to my wife's attitude and willingness to do Yoga and learn about hypno-birthing and other forms of self-support; much of her positive experience and outcome I put down to the work of Laura and Kylie, midwives par excellence at the Royal Sussex. Thanks very much.
I will write a further blog on the maternity ward experience, where my wife stayed the night after our daughter was born.
Mark, this is a really great post - thanks for sharing so much of the experience! Congratulations on becoming a Dad and wishing you lots of stamina and patience for the weeks ahead. Graham
ReplyDeleteThanks Graham. I aim to post more regular stuff now I'm getting to grips with fatherhood. I will also make a note to check out your blog!
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